A Dark Spirit Came to Visit
Photo by the author
The last couple of years of my drinking were very dark days.
There was also some light, but it would be followed by darkness.
And there were some utterly black days.
What happened to me was that I became disconnected from myself and others. I was suffering from an interior world that was dying.
I became spiritually bereft. I had lost hope in better days ahead for me. And I didn’t feel a connection to a guiding spirit.
What came into that state of being is strange. I’ve never had anything like this before or since.
There were times when I felt the presence of evil in my room. It was both ethereal and corporal at the same time, floating in the darkness, a dark and unseen but felt orb.
It was just there. I didn’t feel it was going to strike me, or really do anything. It was an unwanted visit.
It scared me. I didn’t know how or why it got there, where it was from, and how long it would stay.
And of course I wasn’t in my right mind. I was losing a grip on reality. I didn’t know what to believe, or what to think.
All I knew was there was a dark force very close to me. And I had an idea that I had somehow brought it there.
The magazine Scientific American, regarding why certain liquors are called “spirits,” states:
"One theory is that the word alcohol is derived from al-ghawl. This is the most straightforward way to link alcohol and spirits, as the word means spirit. It’s referenced in The Qur’an. Verse 37:47 mentions al-ghawl to refer to a demon or spirit that produces intoxication."
I’ve heard it said that the drinking that an alcoholic does is a low-level search for God.
That resonates with me.
It wasn’t a conscious thing. But I was looking for connection, and often I felt an extreme sense of camaraderie with the people that were drinking and drugging with me. Much of it may have been only in my own head, and it was certainly brought on by various levels of intoxication. But between the “spirits” that were being imbibed and the hilarity going on and the feeling that everybody loved everybody that booze can bring on, there was something at play beyond merely getting drunk and high.
I’ve spoken to a few other recovering alcoholics what experienced visitations from evil during their dark days of drinking.
I don’t know that it’s common, but I do know it was a solitary experience for me.
I’d love to know about your experiences along this line, regarding either the search for God among the alcohol spirits, or with a dark or evil entity. Please add a comment if you’ve experienced any of this.
Here’s to brighter days!