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I Never Want to Be This Person

And Drinking Could Take Me There

Photo by the Author

It’s almost impossible to dream up a worse scenario.

It gives me chills to think about it.

I drove drunk countless times, many of them in blackouts.

For that, I’m terribly sorry.

It’s not by virtue, only by circumstance, that this story is not my story.


I happened across an article online, and it stopped me and grabbed hold of me.

I felt many things upon reading this - sorrow, rage, fear, guilt, freedom, gratitude, and much more.

I could have been the driver that did this.

(I’ll link to the article at the bottom of this story).


The article is about a young couple who recently married in South Carolina.

As they drove away from their reception and into their new life as newlyweds, a drunk driver who was going 65 mph in a 25 mph zone, smashed into them.

The bride was killed.

The groom received multiple injuries and has had a couple of surgeries, but he’s now home recovering, and mourning.

Plans are being made for her funeral.


The intoxicated driver was a 25-year-old woman who faces a charge of reckless homicide and 3 charges of felony DUI resulting in great bodily harm.

Her life, too, is destroyed.


Oh my God, the poor young man.

In my life, my wedding day is the happiest I’ve felt in my life. I had the most incredible time.

From the photo of the couple, it looks as though perhaps it was also like that for them.

For her, it was her last day.

For him, it will take a lifetime to heal from the trauma and to process what happened.

I wish him as well as can be as he moves forward in life.


My drinking led me to do a lot of heinous things. Drunken driving was possibly the worst thing I did because I played Russian Roulette with other people’s lives.

I’m eternally grateful that I didn’t hurt or kill anyone…relieved for the people on the roads and sidewalks near me.

And I’m grateful for myself, that I don’t live the hell that the young driver in this story is now living through.

To be as traumatized as she must be, and in prison with no soft landing spots anywhere, is unimaginable.


I had a few moments of grace many years ago that allowed me to see the disaster that my life was becoming, and to make changes.

Most drunk drivers don’t do what this woman did. I never did that, yet. God willing, I never will. I love my life, I don’t want to harm anyone, and these are some of the things that fuel my sobriety.

It’s rather late as I write this, and I plan to go to sleep soon, sober, once again.

And I’ll wake up tomorrow with the intention to have another sober day.

In so many ways, it’s a matter of life and death.

The 25-year-old drunk driver, I imagine, did not set out to commit homicide that evening.

She did decide to drink alcohol, become intoxicated, turn the ignition on in a car, and drive.

It truly is life and death.

For today, I’m grateful that I have a choice.

My choice is sobriety.


As promised, here’s the story:


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