Writing as a Sober Alcoholic
And While Being a Human Being With Feelings!
Self-portrait by the Author
I started to write regularly on Medium two months ago. I’ve been consistent.
Until this past week.
I wrote a piece that was a challenge to write, and it stirred up a lot of feelings.
Also, it was my first time submitting - and getting published - in Black Bear, which is an up-and-coming publication that I respect. I was thrilled to be published in it.
The intensity of seeing one’s work in Medium, with the potential for many strangers to see it, read it, and judge it, is a lot to deal with.
I’m writing about personal things such as my alcoholism and drug use, and my life in long-term sobriety.
And although I’ve squared away many things that needed attention from my drinking days, there are some things that have deep echoes, and there’s no way to change them.
I speak of drunken driving and the disaster that can come from it.
The one story I wrote this week was in response to an article I saw about a newlywed couple, and two other people who were leaving their wedding reception on a golf cart, and were plowed into by an extremely intoxicated 25-year-old woman. The bride was killed, and everyone else on the golf cart was badly hurt.
It hit home for me because I drove drunk countless times.
Writing for Medium is stirring things up for me, in profound ways. Because to write here, I believe that I need to read here. I’m reading pieces about alcoholism, addiction, and mental health.
People are putting themselves out there in powerful ways.
The things humans deal with and overcome in this life are amazing.
I suppose I needed to step away for a few moments this week. Yes, I had blah blah blah come up and I had to go to a couple doctors blah blah.
But really, this week was no different than any other since I started in terms of having time to write.
I want to say that I’m grateful for this. I love being sober, not succumbing to the condition of alcoholism that I still have. It’s day by day, it’s empowering and freeing and nothing is certain in life.
So, every day that I don’t drink is a beautiful day in many ways, whether it’s a day filled with struggle and frustration or joy and humor.
And I want to write about it, and I will. I am, right now, giving voice to it today.
And I encourage all of you, readers and writers, to tell your stories. We want them, and we need them.
Writing isn’t easy, as we all know. But it sure can be satisfying. In fact, I feel good as I come to the end of this piece.
Thank you for reading.